Monthly Archives: March 2014

“Well, Not Exactly”

2013_12_01_08_29_05.pdf000 “Ready to Run”

The temperature was falling fast as Daphne made her way past a cow who had just had her calf and was munching contentedly on some after birth while her newborn shivered in the grass.  Trying to get rid of that very natural, but let’s face it, gross image, Daphne high tailed it down the ranch lane and sped into town.

She entered the Saloon and threw off her coat and trapper hat.  There was nobody at the bar except Glenn and Gwelda who were finishing up some dinner.

Gwelda: “Well you’re dressed for winter.”

Daphne: “It’s 25 f***ing degrees. It’s not Spring. I’m sick of the cold and sick of talking about the weather.  Let’s change the subject.”

With that she opened up her Wall Street Journal and began to read.

Daphne:  “Here’s an article on ‘Noah’ and building the Ark. I’m looking forward to it seeing it.  Should be good.”

Gwelda: “Well I sure hope it’s accurate–biblical, that is.  I know the Bible and those animals made their own way into the Ark.  He didn’t gather them up.  They came by themselves.  So they just better tell it like it really was.” Continue reading

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Shut Eye

Sunset

(This is an ongoing series that takes place in The Grand Saloon, a kind of bar at the edge of the frontier much like the Star Wars bar in the first movie.  There are the regular cast of characters as well as alien visitors from planets such as Hollywood, King of Prussia, PA, and Billings, MT.  The first in the series is a piece called “Old Blisters”.  The second one is called “Fun”.  The third is “12 Churches and 5 Bars.”  You can start there or read this one first. )

The days are getting longer and so the drive in to Little Twig at the end of the work day is no longer in the dark but in the waning hours of sunlight.  This means the deer who love to ambush cars at dusk will be lurking behind the trees just before the bridge over the Boulder River.  But Daphne is on to them.  She slows down from the 55 mph speed limit and looks from side to side and, sure enough, three does come bounding across the road.  The weather has been skittering back and forth for days between just above zero to below zero.  The snow has fallen in large wet clumps unlike the usual powder that blesses Montana winters.  Then it melts.  Then it freezes.  And for the last day and a half it’s now started to rain.  And now it’s cold again.  And so the road has patches of black ice.

Daphne glides to a crawl as the deer slip and slide across her path.  All survive and she drives on past the neon sign at the Lazy J Motel that has just come on as night begins.  

Daphne hitches the car up on small leftover pile of snow and sloshes through a foot of water at the curb.  She  straightens herself up and breezes into the saloon.

The joint is jumping because it is free pizza night.  Each year from early February to the end of March, the bar serves free pizza on Wednesday nights  to reward the locals for their loyalty and, well, to try and sell drinks at a slow time of the year.   Of course, some people who rarely come to the place manage to take advantage of the free food.  There was a bit of a kerfuffle years ago when they first started the free stuff because people would bring their kids and try to get away without ordering anything to drink.  So they had to put the keebosh on that and make this an “adults only” kind of deal.  Thelma and Will are in the middle of the bar.  Cal and Carl are down closer to the table with the pizza on it.  Sonny, Soot, and Clay are at the other end.  Daphne slides on to the only bar stool left and throws off her puffer coat.

Claudia sets a glass of Savignon Blanc in front of Daphne. 

Daphne:  “A little slick out there. ” Continue reading